Along with all the songs about the awfulness of 2020, there should be some songs about how it could have been worse. Remember the Murder Hornets? What ever happened to them? And with the rise in popularity of sea shanties, this space shanty just sort of popped into my head. The tune is Barrett’s Privateers, of course.
January 2021
Oh, the year is 2021
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
We managed the slingshot round the sun
But the Enterprise followed to wreck our fun
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
Our shuttle we stole from the Martian yards
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
Packed tight with replicated gold
Which primitive Earthmen loved, I’m told
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
The passage through time was a sickening lurch
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
An asteroid bound for the Earth that day
Crippled our shuttle then glanced away
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
We beamed on down as our shuttle went up
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
No gold, no goods, in a dull farm lot
And hornets all round that we quickly shot
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
Oh, the Enterprise beamed an away team down
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
We shot three red-shirts, showed who’s boss
That cold-blooded Kirk didn’t give a toss
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
In a farm nearby we found some bombs
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
Wrapped in red flags by a camo-clad mob
We stole the lot for a last-ditch job
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
With their maps of some place called “DC”
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
We hit the road in their ugly truck
To rob some banks and improve our luck
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
The city was full of protesting crowds
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
The nazis are coming, we heard them say
But the nazis didn’t turn up that day
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.
But when Kirk found us, he was calm
How I wish I was in Starfleet now
His Vulcan officer told us how
We’re part of the whole damn timeline now
God damn Jim Kirk!
We were sure we’d live like kings in days of yore
With phaser guns we’d have no fear
Now I’m a time-lost fool in a hell-damned year
The last of Starfleet’s mutineers.