This song is legendary. Harry wrote it, then lost it, then found it, then sent it to me. I’ve modified it slightly: it was originally “Pretty Slim”, but the King at the time suggested the improvement and all agreed it was good.
Is it necessary for me to note what it’s a filk of? Didn’t think so.
Some time in the 1990s?
(Una Vera Baronia!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
And all the ladies say I’m pretty svelte for a white belt.
(Uno, dos, tres, Prince of Lochac is the best!)
You know it’s kinda hard just to be a knight today
Our subject’s only cool when he’s in the SCA
He may not always get everything that he desires
But everything he lacks, well, he makes up with his squires!
So attack ‘em straight
Don’t defend too late
A la da da-da da-da something-rhymes-with-ate
Gonna hold the field
Never yield
For your lady
For your lady
If you can’t get squired
Then you can rhinohide
At least then you know you’ll be always
On the winning side
The world loves wannabes
So hey, let’s join the Chivalry!
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
And all the ladies say I’m pretty svelte for a white belt.
He knows all of the rules
He’s read them all twice
At chess he’s never beaten
(This should come as no surprise)
His courtesy is perfect and he never makes faux pas
And when it comes to dancing, well he’ll kick your bony arse!
So attack ‘em straight
Don’t defend too late
A la da da-da da-da something-rhymes-with-ate
Gonna hold the field
Never yield
For your lady
For your lady
If you can’t get squired
Then you can rhinohide
At least then you know you’ll be always
On the winning side
The world loves wannabes
So hey, let’s join the Chivalry!
Now he’s getting a device, yeah, he’s getting arms done
It’s been bounced by all the heralds (and he’s not the only one)
He’s taken their suggestions and he’s changed them round a bit
But in his own mine it’s a – it’s a heap of shit!
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
Hit him for me baby! (Huzzah! Huzzah!)
And all the ladies say I’m pretty svelte for a white belt.
(Uno, dos, tres, Prince of Lochac is the best!)
So attack ‘em straight
Don’t defend too late
A la da da-da da-da something-rhymes-with-ate
Gonna hold the field
Never yield
For your lady
For your lady
If your good blows missed
And it makes you pissed
At least then you know you try bitching
On the Lochac list
The world loves wannabes
The world needs wannabes
Let’s hear it for the wannabes
So hey, let’s join the Chivalry!