O Holy Fuck

I was struck by the sound of the Christmas carol O Holy Night; specifically, by the fact that it sounded like everything Andrew Lloyd Weber has ever written.  In the midst of the pre-Christmas rush, I wrote this, to the tune of as much of it as I could stand to listen to.

Incidentally – if you listen to that link, use the cogwheel button to set the speed to 1.25x.  It’s much more listenable.

December 2018

Oh holy fuck, how can it be December?
I must have blinked, it was June yesterday
I haven’t shopped, I never do remember
Till it’s too late just to buy on eBay
The kids want stuff that costs a million dollars
I wonder how I’ll pay the rent as well

Mall filled with trees! Oh hear the endless muzak!
Oh why, oh why have I been doomed to hell?
Oh why, oh why, oh why, please tell me why!

Led by the signs for special discount prices
With sinking hearts at the checkout we stand
My Mastercard, though stretched and strained, suffices
For clever gadgets from Orient land
The shiny things we’ll wrap in garish paper
For kids to squeeze and very likely bend

Mall filled with trees! Oh god, that’s Whamageddon!
Oh why, oh why, oh when will all this end?
Oh why, oh why, oh why, please tell me why!