The BatPup took a while to get their driver’s licence, but just before they did I was suddenly inspired to write this, and apparently it was enough of an earworm that they cruised through their test. So I claim all credit, or blame as the case may be.
The tune is Smashmouth’s All-Star, of course.
September 2024
Somebody once told me
Instructor’s gonna scold me
I got to keep both hands on the wheel
He was looking really stern
As I did a three-point turn
Got a plate with an “L” on my windshield.
Well, the engine’s running, hope it don’t stop running
Dance on the clutch so it keeps on humming
Pray I don’t stall on a real steep hill
Hill starts suck (they’re a crucial skill)
So much to do, so much to see
(Can I maybe stick to the small streets?)
I’ll never learn if I’m too shy
I’ll never pass if I don’t try
Hey now, I’m a learner
Got my L plates, car keys
Hey now, I’m a yearner
Mirrors, seat belt, go please
And all those limitless roads
Gonna be my realm, watch me go!
Got a cool car (sure it’s just a Toyota)
I studied real hard, use the Force like Yoda
All the media says we’re a menace
Judging by the tales that the old people send us
But they’re too late: I’ve got my “L”s
The petrol’s pretty dear but I figure oh well
The world’s on fire from CO2
That’s the way it happens, nothing I can do
Hey now, I’m a learner
Got my L plates, car keys
Hey now, I’m a yearner
Mirrors, seat belt, go please
And all those limitless roads
Gonna be my realm, watch me go!
Instrumental Break
Hey now, I’m a learner
Got my L plates, car keys
Hey now, I’m a yearner
Mirrors, seat belt, go please
And all those limitless roads
Gonna be my realm
Somebody once said, “Left Turn Allowed On Red”
I just don’t know how that can make any sense
Got no fear, what an idea
Cops can’t book you if the sign is clear, although it might get a little tense…
Well, the engine’s running, hope it don’t stop running
Dance on the clutch so it keeps on humming
Changing up gears, well it’s not the best
Gotta get good or I’ll flunk that test
So much to do, so much to know
Won’t be long and I’ll have it down though
I’ll never learn if I’m too shy
I’ll never pass if I don’t try
Hey now, I’m a learner
Got my L plates, car keys
Hey now, I’m a yearner
Mirrors, seat belt, go please
And all those limitless roads
Gonna be my realm, watch me go!