For some reason, I had the old Stan Jones classic Ghost Riders In The Sky in my head all day, and thanks to a fan’s website (long since lost) I was able to listen to multiple versions. However, that just made me think it needed to be filked. For some reason, the Terry Bisson short story They’re Made Out Of Meat just seemed to fit; gods know why, but it probably has something to do with this utterly brilliant fan-produced short film version. So go read the story, and then read on for my filked version combining these two classics.

A routine scan of signals from a minor galaxy
Revealed a nasty secret on the planet numbered three:
A race of warlike bipeds who, if I may be discreet,
Have brains and also bodies all constructed out of meat.

Alien minds, alien brains,
Oh god, they’re made of meat.

We picked up several natives on our vessels to be probed,
Their brains are fairly complex, carbon-based and multi-lobed,
They don’t survive for very long, they need to breathe and eat;
They clearly think and reason, but they talk by flapping meat.

Alien minds, alien brains,
Oh god, they’re made of meat.

Their radio transmissions made us think they could be more;
They want to talk and swap ideas, and also to explore.
We should extend the pseudopod of friendship, not retreat,
But can you just imagine that — to try to talk to meat!

Alien minds, alien brains,
Oh god, they’re made of meat.

We’ll just erase the records and forget that we were here.
It’s not as if they’ll notice if we softly disappear.
There’s lots of other sentiences elsewhere we can greet —
No need to waste another day on silly dreams of meat.

Alien minds, alien brains,
Oh god, they’re made of meat.
Oh god, they’re made of meat.