Sir Agro Went A-Roving

I was sitting round a fire with Sir Agro and Mistress Glynhavar, and Agro told me a story of his recent adventures in the (then) Central West. As soon as he gave me the punchline to this one, I knew there was a song in it. I went away to the tavern, sat in a corner and wrote it, and then raced back just in time to sing it for them before they went to bed.

[Easter 2002]

Sir Agro went a-roving around the Central West.
He met with Dukes and heroes, that mighty Kingdom’s best
Then one day on the listfield, he found he’d met his match:
A young unbelted fighter who Sir Agro could not catch!
(And he was singing…)

He’s just a random blackbelt,
While I’m a famous Knight!
It shouldn’t be too difficult
To trounce him in a fight!
He’s nothing but a novice,
And I’ve been training well…
So why’s he got me feeling
Exactly like a pell?

They fought it best-of-seven; he started out OK.
It wasn’t really serious, but just a bit of play.
But that unbelted fighter, he set Sir Agro straight,
With raps and snaps and loving taps at quite a frightful rate.

Sir Agro beat him three times, and crashed and died three more.
He only needed one more kill to even out the score.
But that unbelted fighter, he moved like he was oiled.
Sir Agro said, “Let’s call it quits! You’ve fairly got me foiled!”

Much later in the feast hall, Sir Agro got to meet
That same unbelted fighter who he couldn’t hardly beat:
None other than a Viscount and a Knight of Kingdom West…
Sir Agro said, “It’s good to see you finally fully dressed!”

You’re not a random blackbelt,
You are a famous Knight!
This might be why it’s difficult
To trounce you in a fight!
You’re much more than a novice,
And I’ve been training well…
Thank God I can stop feeling
Exactly like a pell!