The (current) Prime Minister of Australia is a service station meat pie in a polo shirt named Scott Morisson, who got the job by being miraculously even less principled than his predecessor and less bald than (but otherwise indistinguishable from) the boogyman we were all expecting.  He thought he might get on top of the PR by giving us a friendly nickname to call him by, but it quickly became apparent that a more accurate alternative was available.  As a handy bonus, he absolutely hates it, so it’s his name now.

I cast around for songs to use that would fit this nickname, and Roy Warrall suggested Oom-pah-pah from Oliver.  It works nicely.

February 2020

There’s a funny fellow
Who tries to keep it mellow
He knows the way to manage his public facade
Says to call him ScoMo
He’s down-to-earth and just so
Until the trouble turns up in his own back yard.

Scotty from Marketing
Where did you go?
Scotty from Marketing
Why is it so?
Off to Hawaii but don’t let us know,
Scotty from Marketing

Seems a little funny
He raised a lot of money
For every sort of purpose, it’s all above board
Senator McKenzie
Is one of many friends he
Has tearfully farewelled while he reaps his reward

Scotty from Marketing
Where did you go?
Scotty from Marketing
Why is it so?
All those donations but not much to show!
Scotty from Marketing

Happy to regale ya
With news of how Australia’s
Exceeding expectations and cannot be beat
Anyone who queries
Will not be welcome here; he’s
Content to label them latte-sipping elites

Scotty from Marketing
Where did you go?
Scotty from Marketing
Why is it so?
More jobs in lattes than coal mining though —
Scotty from Marketing

Don’t be so neurotic,
It’s quite unpatriotic
To speak with disrespect to the lord of this land!
If you are conformist
(And not a whining warmist)
He’ll grant to you the privilege of shaking his hand

Scotty from Marketing
Where did you go?
Scotty from Marketing
Why is it so?
Minders! Make sure only fans say hello!
Scotty from Marketing