Rasmus’s Toy

I use PHP. That doesn’t mean I like it. In fact, if they were taking a collection to buy a copy of The Dragon Book to beat Rasmus Lerdorf to death with, I’d chip in extra if they promised to scream “use of uninitialised variables is an error, not a warning!!!” as he died.

So when the Rednex’ Cotton-Eye Joe came up on my random rotation, I wrote this:

[August 2006]

If it hadn’t been for Rasmus’s toy
I’d be done and set to deploy
What were you thinking, what was the ploy?
Why did you build it, Rasmus’s toy?

It sits on the web like a steaming big turd
The hacks it relies on are plainly absurd
The rules that it breaks were already well known
When Rasmus’s Pa wasn’t even half grown

It brings disaster wherever it’s used
Demanding that all common sense be abused
The script-kiddies say it’s a wonder and joy
And that says it all about Rasmus’s toy