Fraser Anning was briefly a senator – a truly awful human being who got into power in Queensland with only 19 first-preference votes in the shambolic election of 2016. He was voted back out again in 2019, but not before he’d spammed the world with a million tweets, press releases and for all I know probably some DeadJournal “Which Blakes Seven Character Are You” memes, all of them apparently typed in uppercase for reasons that make no sense to anyone under the age of 85 other than him.
Oh, and he had an incident with an egg that is the stuff of legend.
This is to the tune of I Still Call Australia Home, by Peter Allen.
I GOT ELECTED WITH JUST NINETEEN VOTES
MY PLATFORM WAS MUSLIMS AND STOPPING THE BOATS
MY ONLY REAL PROBLEM, NOW NOBODY SCOFF:
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK OFF.
I’M ALWAYS TRAVELLIN’, ALLOWANCES RULE!
MY FRIENDS ARE ALL NAZIS, THEY’RE CLEVER AND COOL.
AND IF NOT FOR THIS PROBLEM, I’D BE BIGGER THAN GOUGH:
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK OFF.
ALL THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF PROPER CLEAN-LIVING FOLKS
AT RISK IN THE TERRORIST NIGHT
BUT AS THE WORLD IS TURNING, AND BURNING
I’LL ALWAYS SAY IT’S OK TO BE WHITE
SOMEDAY I’LL SURELY BE OUT ON MY ARSE
WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MY TRIP IN FIRST CLASS
BUT A PENSION, A BOOK DEAL, AND A PLACE AT THE TROUGH —
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK OFF.
I’M ALLERGIC TO EGGS, SO THAT’S WHY I COUGH:
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK —
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK —
I CAN’T SWITCH THE CAPS LOCK OFF.