No West

This just came to me. I should explain that I don’t mean to say that the West Kingdom is evil or nasty or anything like that, just that I think there are advantages to having your central rulers near at hand. I mean no disrespect to the long list of kings and queens I’ve known and loved, and I hope they all take this in the spirit of gentle ribbing I intended… The tune is Go West by the Village People.

[May 1997]

Together we will run away, together lose the USA.
Together our King in our land, together beaurocrats are banned.
Together we will foot the cost, together tell the BoD get lost.
Together we will start a realm, together this is what we’ll tell ’em.

No West, Kings are local here.
No West, fencers have no fear.
No West, archers all wear plumes.
No West, marching to their dooms.
No West, winter in July.
No West, big cross in the sky.
No West, gums and kangaroos.
No West, this is what we choose.

Together down on Bondi Beach, together walk on Lygon Street.
Together change our main device, ’cause sable, gules and Or is nice.
In Lochac, where we’re living now, we’re better off here anyhow
So that’s why I have one request when I say we all need no West.

I know that there’ll be many times when our King commits stupid crimes
Together we will all regret the fact that he’s the boss, and yet
We know that, if he makes us stew, we know where he is living too
And it’s not half a world away, with no more ISD to pay…