The Australian “government” provides a “service” for unemployed “people” that runs out of a “website” called My.Gov.  This is about that.  The tune is My Guy, by Smokey Robinson, as sung here by Mary Wells.

February 2018

Nothing you can say will get you some pay from My.Gov.
Nothing you can do but just wait in the queue for My.Gov.
I’m logging in to see if the site’s even loading,
Try to fill in the form with this deep foreboding.
I haven’t got the heart to delete it and restart with My.Gov.

Nothing I can do will sound like it’s true to My.Gov (My.Gov).
Centrelink is sure I owe a thousand more, that’s My.Gov (My.Gov, My.Gov).
They want to look at my finances? Website won’t take all my answers:
I’m wondering what hero said “a balance can’t be zero” — oh, My.Gov.

As a method of distraction it does the trick.
Only ones who try are the desperate and sick.
As a method to teach us what we’re worth,
This makes it clear we’re the scum of the Earth.

No music on hold could be quite so cold as My.Gov.
No Mozart piece will ever bring release, it’s My.Gov.
I may not live to get my answer, I hope they’ve hired a necromancer.
Not a chance today that I’ll get my way with My.Gov.

No minister yet has had to sweat with My.Gov (My.Gov).
No blue-suit snoops have to jump through hoops for My.Gov (My.Gov).
We may not be locked up in jail, but when it comes basic freedom, they fail
There’s not a hope in hell that this will end well with My.Gov.
(What you say?)
There’s not a hope in hell that this will end well with My.Gov.
(Tell me more!)
There’s not a hope in hell that this will end well with My.Gov.