I Don’t Like Camp Food

It used to be, years ago, that SCUNA’s rehearsal camps served omnivore meals. This comes as a shock to recent SCUNAe, because we’ve been doing only vegetarian catering for as long as most of them can recall. The reasons are obvious — there’s less waste, it costs less, it’s easier to produce really good quality food, and so on — but as I recall the turning point came with a particularly inedible bolognaise. This song is a dramatisation of that. It’s to the tune of the Boomtown Rats’ I Don’t Like Mondays.

[July 2002]

The bolognaise mix inside the pot
Has burnt, and turned to paste
Oh, and nobody’s gonna have stew today
All that okra goes to waste.
The choir doesn’t understand it
We always heard there was food supplied,
But now the soup’s so greasy
Makes our guts uneasy
Did the salad really need to be fried?
Why? Why – why – why?

Tell you why I don’t like camp food
Tell you why I don’t like camp food
Tell you why I don’t like camp food
I wanna spew, ooh — and eat at home.

The coffee machine has turned dark green
And it blurps when it’s not plugged in
All the breakfast eggs’ll cause a grown man to beg
And the bacon’s turning hard as tin
The hot dog buns are the kind of ones
That have spent six weeks in the rain and sun
And you can find no sauces
‘Cause there are no sauces
What sauce could hide the scum?