This is a song called Humpty Nº 2, to the tune of Charlie Nº 2 by the
Whitlams. I have NO IDEA WHO WROTE IT. Does anyone recognise it?

Humpty, you’re not my Humpty anymore – you’ve screwed it up
You’re all over the floor, and your yoke is starting to smell
If you hadn’t fallen off the wall, I would have made a scrambled egg.
You’re not the only one who’s really pissed off.
If you hard boil me, I’ll hard boil you.
If you hard boil me, I’ll hard boil you.

You make the floor feel sticky – icky
You make the kitchen smell pretty – disgusting
You didn’t want to be a scrambled egg

So you fell off the wall
So you fell off the wall
Yeah you fell off the wall
You had a great fall
And all of the king’s horses
And all of his bloody men
Couldn’t put you together again.
So you stick now, stain later.

So where’s the problem you might ask if you peg your nose up
But the days were long and soon you started to rot
The dog went crazy ’bout you, cos you smelled like his behind.
Couldn’t care about his Pal anymore.
If you hard boil me, I’ll hard boil you.
If you hard boil me, I’ll hard boil you.

You made the dog feel better, Humpty.
Made him feel like heaven, Humpty.
He loved you and he drooled accordingly
He licked you off the floor
He licked you off the floor
He licked you off the floor
He dribbled and he drooled
Yeah, we brought in our little dog – to feed him on the scraps we found
He even licks you when he’s still asleep
So stick now and stain later
You stick now and stain later

Yeah the dog went crazy ’bout you, cos you smelled like his behind