Many years ago, back when certain Knights of Lochac were excelling themselves in entitled fuckwittery, Iarnulfr made the suggestion that I filk Jonah Lewie’s Stop The Cavalry as Stop The Chivalry. Much as I agreed with the sentiment at the time, inspiration didn’t strike, so I shelved the idea.
Today I revisited it, but I have to say it didn’t come out the way he or I might have expected.
May 2018.
Hey, Mr Herald shouts over here,
Tourney’s starting presently
But there’s other things, not just future Kings,
Worth considering, don’t you see?
When the tourney’s done, fighters need some fun:
Come and hug the chivalry!
They have had to fight, armour isn’t light,
Bruises often bite nastily.
That is why I say, tell them they’re OK:
Come and hug the chivalry.
Each one’s consort waits alone,
Wonders if he will win the throne.
Fighters really don’t care a jot:
She’s a queen no matter what.
Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dum-dum-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dum-dum-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Don’t you think they need a cuddle?
Bang! he walloped him, nearly took a limb,
When he didn’t dodge skilfully.
If he wins again, makes it to the end,
He’ll still need some sympathy.
I recommend it: you lot,
Come and hug the chivalry!
Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dum-dum-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dum-dum-dub-a-dum
Dub-a-dub-a-dum
Don’t you think they need a cuddle?
Don’t you reckon they all deserve
Recognition for how they serve?
Though a shower might be good first;
Maybe letting the smell disperse!
Don’t you think they need a cuddle?