He Moved Through The Fair

It amuses me that it’s only ever women who sing She Moved Through The Fair, even though the “young love” in the song is female. Either they’re singing in quotation marks, or it’s the new lesbian anthem; beats me which.

Anyhow, I thought the time was right for a rewritten version that fixes this minor glitch.  Regrettably, we quickly see the reason this hasn’t been done before: it turns into The Blacksmith before it’s half over.  Ah well.

[July 2008]

My young man said to me, “Your mother won’t know,
“And your father’s a pisspot. We might as well go.
“I fancy a quickie, and I know you do too,
“Loaf of bread, jug of wine, picnic blanket, and you.”

He moved right beside me, and we skirted the Fair
Off to somewhere secluded, where no-one would stare
And he left when ’twas over, all rather too soon
As a snake or a lizard moves under the moon.

The people were saying, “Do you see how she swells?
“That lassie, I’d wager, will be hearing some bells.”
So I checked with the doctor, the answer was clear…
And that was the last that I saw of my dear.

I dreamed it last night, my young man came in.
His hair held some grey now, and a beard on his chin.
He laid his eyes on us, and this he did say:
“Can you lend me a fiver, then I’ll be on my way.”