Back in 2014 my Dad had a bit of heart surgery, in which I gather a cow gave up its life, or at least a portion of its anatomy, in order to prolong his. Well done, thou good and faithful mammal! Here’s my ode to the cow, and a get well soon present for Dad. The tune is, I hope, obvious.
Ooh, I bet you’re wondering why you moo,
All those parts they put in you:
Some innocent cow that passed away,
And had its various bits served upon a tray.
The doctors were surprised, so I’ve heard,
When you woke and spoke that word.
Don’t you know that…
You’re haunted by the bovine
Now its valve supplies your lifeline.
Oh, you’re haunted by the bovine
Oh, its ghost is always on your mind,
Mister, mister, yeah.
I know the steaks were extremely high,
It was well done, I just can’t deny.
Where heifer you go, don’t you ever fear,
‘Cause you know you can safely steer.
You’ll live your life with more zeal
Now you veal the way you veal,
People say you’re the man they want to meat,
That’s the news I’ve always herd.
And I must agree, it’s no bull,
Udderly true, in every word.
If you’ve lived through this song,
Nothing much that’s left can go too wrong,
Now you know that…