Every IV’s Sacred

Once I’d moved back home to Canberra I volunteered to be on committee for the 54th Australian Intervarsity Choral Festival, aka CIV2003. Just in time for SIV2002, Lukey and I composed this to advertise our IV in the Revue.

[January 2002]

Right, children! Settle down! I’ve got something to tell the whole IV!
Ooh, I’ll just go wake up the basses.
It’s bad news. The camp’s over tomorrow. We all have to go to our billets.
(disappointed sighs)
We’ve got no option. In a week and a half it’ll all be over.
(disappointed sighs; “But why?” ad lib)
Now now, that’s just the way it is. Blame the Howard government for not inventing a Sculling For The Dole scheme. You see, IVs are too special; they can’t let us have them all the time. It’s just — look, I’ll explain in a song…
There are FAUCS in the world, there are MonMUCS
There are SUMS, QUMS and TUMSies, and then
There are those who come here from MuscUTS, but
I’ve never seen one of them!
I’m a lad from Canberra
And was destined to be since I was born
And the one thing they say about Canb’ra is
There’s more there than pollies and porn
You don’t have to be a loud tenor
You don’t have to have perfect pecs
You don’t have to have any clothes on, ’cause
At IV we’re here to have… fun!
Every IV’s sacred
Every IV’s great
If an IV’s wasted
Bazza gets irate
Let the public hear us
In their pubs and malls
We shall sing Laudate
And drive them up the walls
Every IV’s wanted
Every IV’s precious
Every IV’s useful
For corrupting freshers!
Bass, Soprano, Alto
Sing just anywhere
Also maybe Tenors —
But who bloody cares?
Every IV’s sacred
Every IV’s great
If an IV’s wasted
(RIT – half speed) Baz-za gets i-raaaaaaate!!!