The funny thing about the SCA is the way we can get all fired up about political and social controversies that died out half a millennium ago. This doesn’t get as nasty as the mundane equivalent, so its main purpose is entertainment. This song is a compendium of stereotypes of the sort that, if translated to Old High German, would have been quite familiar to any Frank of the court of Charles the First.

[before Easter 1996]

Well, the Scotsmen love their woolly, woolly sheep
And the Vikings shave with axes,
A Welshman’s song puts anyone to sleep
And the Irish don’t pay taxes.
Italians care for nothing but their hair,
Merry madmen reign in Spain,
And the only place with any sort of grace
Is the court of Charlemagne!

King Charlemagne, Right Fist of God!
King Charlemagne, Unconquered!
By main and might, in God’s own sight,
The master of us all!
King Charlemagne, the Lord of Rome!
King Charlemagne, Eternal!
His strong right hand will rule this land,
‘Til the skies in pieces fall!

Oh the Saxon Kings tried many silly things
To avoid their mass conversion
They need to learn in Hell they’re gonna burn
If they don’t stop their perversion.
The Lombards tried to win an easy ride
And they quickly found that pain
Is the only end when trying to defend
In a war with Charlemagne!