Meg Davis wrote this: Captain Jack and the Mermaid. I filked it. What more do you need to know?
Captain Jack was a con man when he went to war,
Oh, you mad Daleks, go and kill him, just try!
He’d escaped the Time Agents, was looking to score,
Oh, zap him, you Daleks, zap him dead if you can,
He’ll be back in a blink — he’s a hell of a man.
Well, I thought Captain Jack was a bit of all right…
He was sexy and "Spock", pretty good in a fight…
But his ship got blown up, so he joined with our crew…
Helped us stop the Slitheens, had a dinner or two…
Then we all got gassed and our ship was waylayed…
We all watched the Earth fall and the Daleks invade…
But my Jack was not there when I saved the day…
He’d met with a Dalek who blew him away…
When an eyestalk espied him — the end of the race!
But from the time vortex I pulled such a trick,
And his heart gave a sudden fortuitous kick!
While I and my Doctor went back to my home,
Dear old Jack was all stranded, entirely alone.
He had pants made by robots and a band on his wrist
So he stared at the dials and gave them a twist!
He fell through the vortex for many a year,
One day he landed, not too far from here.
He was in the right place, approximately
But his timing was out by a lifetime or three…
Well, Jack was in deep, so he figured he’d wait
He joined up with Torchwood, resigned to his fate.
He then figured out what the vortex had done:
If he died, he got better — what terrible fun!
He walked the years bold, he walked the years long,
While his lovers’ young faces turned wrinkled and wan.
When out of the years, Jack rose like that bird,
And this is the message that always recurred:
"You can go through your life living safe on the land,
But flying and fighting is so much more grand!
Grab your great-coat and blaster, come battle with me,
We can win back the future and set the world free!"
And that is the story I heard from dear Jack,
When after the ages, he finally came back.
Though now I’m off here on an alternate shore,
Still this is his song and I’ll sing it once more!
Captain Jack was a dead man, but now he lives on
Oh, you mad Daleks, go and kill him, just try!
He’ll be smirking that smirk when the stars are all gone
Oh, zap him, you Daleks, zap him dead if you can,
He’ll be back in a blink — he’s a hell of a man.
Zap him and snap him, put his corpse in a can
He’ll be back in a blink — he’s a hell of a man.