I asked on FaceBorg for anecdotes and links about the erstwhile National Party leader and part-time lothario, Barnaby Joyce, and Ms Yolande McNicoll came through with many, many details. After that, composing this was just a matter of listening to the original, Boney M’s Ra Ra Rasputin, and browsing the comment thread. Filk may be the only thing on earth that works well by committee!
July 2019
There was a special boy, in Tamworth he was sired,
He grew big and strong, to the senate he aspired.
As party leader there, and minister he served:
Not the drongo we need, but the drongo we deserved.
He was not concerned by actor pirates:
Calmly threatened naughty pups!
Nor by climate change, though he’d perspire at
Gay folks hooking up!
Baa Baa Barnaby, great Australian wannabe,
He’s all hat, no cattle, they say
Baa Baa Barnaby, father of the century,
They knock him down, he’s back the next day.
[Instrumental]
He claimed the moral ground, and never mind his wife,
But his girlfriend’s kid still deserved a comfy life.
In all affairs of state, he knew the palms to grease:
If it warms, so what? What’s a couple of degrees?
He’s the hero of the Murray-Darling!
(Just ignore the smell of fish.)
Fought the greedy Greenies with their snarling;
Farmers got their wish!
Baa Baa Barnaby, great Australian wannabe,
He’s all hat, no cattle, they say
Baa Baa Barnaby, father of the century,
They knock him down, he’s back the next day.
[Spoken]
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger for water became known to more and more people, the demands to do something grew — naah, kidding. He could root a nun and no one would care.
Then Ludlam had a shock: he wasn’t meant to sit,
So he waved bye-bye, and he got right out of it.
Our Barnaby was one who chuckled at his plight:
If he’d only known this would also be his fight.
For his Dad was once a Kiwi soldier
Came to Aus, and then got hitched.
But the Constitution could have told ya:
Karma is a bitch.
Baa Baa Barnaby, great Australian wannabe,
He’s New Zealand’s least favourite son.
Baa Baa Barnaby, father of the century,
Good old Section Forty-Four (One).
Baa Baa Barnaby, great Australian wannabe,
The by-election welcomed him home.
Baa Baa Barnaby, father of the century,
Think it’s called the Stockholm Syndrome.
[Spoken]
Oh, those farmers…