With Marriage Equality possibly looming on the Australian stage, the usual religious dinosaurs have been having their day in the sun, arguing scripture with asteroids. One bishop announced that any gay teachers (or nurses, or other Church employees) who marry, when such a happy event becomes possible, will be sacked immediately, and may God have mercy upon their quivering pink bits.  This is about that, to the tune of All Things Bright And Beautiful.

August 2017.

All schools, read this bulletin:
All teachers, temps and staff.
All pay heed; it’s written on
The Cardinal’s behalf.

If certain legal changes
Are brought about next year,
The Church’s own response will be
Unquestionably clear.

All those sinful sodomites,
All sapphists unabashed,
Who in schools are now employed
May see their yearnings dashed.

Should any choose to marry,
According to the law,
Their contract of employment shall
Lie bleeding on the floor.

All known laws of equal rights,
Both Federal and State,
All must bow before the Lord
It’s how we operate.

Our Churches pay no taxes
We win the funding game,
And proudly we discriminate
In Jesus’ holy name.

All schools, watch your teachers well.
If any gay ones wed
Boot them with alacrity:
Do as the Good Book said!

If they would be perverted
Impersonating beasts,
Then stick to kiddy-fiddling,
Just like our lovely priests!

Ahhhh, men!