If you’re reading this more than a few years in the future, you probably won’t remember back when the country in between Canada and Mexico was a democratic republic whose head of state was generally considered to be a grown-up, albeit usually a narcissistic grown-up in the employ of sociopathic oligarchs. Now, of course, that’s all over, and we live in the remains of history.
So anyhow. Today, as I write this, the President of the USA got on TV to tell people that autism is caused by paracetamol, aka acetaminophen, sold in the US as Tylenol, a crappy non-steroidal placebo that’s so useless at its one job of painkilling that even the Australian government will allow it to be sold without prescription. Why did he pick Tylenol to blame for the non-existent autism epidemic? No idea. Presumably because he doesn’t want people talking about the fact that he raped a bunch of children on an island full of millionaires, I guess. You know; politics.
The tune is Blame Canada, from the surprisingly good South Park movie from years ago.
September 2025
Times have changed, statistics never lie
There’s more autistic children and we want the reason why
Should we blame the testing?
Or blame the quirks of genes?
Or join the nuts who like to blame vaccines?
No!
Blame Tylenol!
Blame Tylenol!
It’s the drug we can renounce
Because it’s easy to pronounce
Blame Tylenol!
Blame Tylenol!
We need to bring it to a halt
It’s Tylenol’s fault!
Don’t blame me for my damn son
I told him “go play ball” but he says reading’s much more fun
And my girl Sally once was talkative and fun
But that went away just after she turned one…
Well…
Blame Tylenol
Blame Tylenol
It seems that trying to dull your pain
Does things to baby’s brain!
Blame Tylenol
Blame Tylenol
It’s not even a corticosteroid anyway
My son could have been a trucker or a football player, say
Instead, he’s in IT and now he’s joined the SCA
Should we blame the teachers?
Should we blame the knights?
Or the fact he has inalienable rights?
Heck no!
Blame Tylenol
Blame Tylenol
All those pregnant women who
Want their pain to just be through
Blame Tylenol
Cancel Tylenol
For a villain we need, and people who read
And want to be free seem evil to me
Declare them sick and weird and odd
Before somebody thinks of blaming God!