Hamster Hotel

I started this absolutely years ago, and finished it quite recently. It is, of course, to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel by E. A. Presley, and is possibly the second most tasteless song I’ve ever written. Yay me!

[1986-2002]

Now since my gerbil left me, I’ve found a new place to dwell
There’s lots of furry rodents there at Hamster Hotel
They’re looking so sexy, they’re looking so sexy,
Dressed in their duct-tape lingerie.

It’s technic’ly still legal (except in Arkansas)
So grab a length of rubber tube and kneel down on the floor
They’re looking so sexy, they’re looking so sexy,
Dressed in their duct-tape lingerie.

So if your gerbil leaves you, don’t stutter and don’t weep
‘Cause if these friends don’t satisfy, you know there’s always sheep!
They’re looking so sexy, they’re looking so sexy,
Dressed in their duct-tape lingerie.