Bass Touch

This had been bouncing around in my head since I first heard the BloodHoundGang’s Bad Touch, and finally I just sat down with the lyrics and an MP3 of the original and did most of it. I posted it to choral chat and a gorgeous and talented MUC named Gail Miller provided the rest. What a team!

[14 September 2000]

Ha ha ha, well, now, we call this the act of Rumbling, but there are several other very important differences between Human Beings and choristers that you should know about….

I’d appreciate unison…

Sing, fellas, sing, you know choir is a lot of work
Me and you, we can sing down deep and make the women go berserk
We’re not in time, our words don’t rhyme, and I’ll bet you don’t care
Yes we’re singing, we’re rehearsing, but it’s not why we go there
We’ve had enough of the night-club stuff it’s all too tough to do the rounds
We’d all much rather go much farther making bassy rumble sounds
It’s easier to score and it isn’t a bore attracting altos any time we like
And make them crumble with our rumble we don’t even need a mike.

Sing it now
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
So let’s meet a lot of altos and not notice their faces
Do it again now
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
So let’s hope that they’re not underage and still wearin’ braces.

Gunna rumble now…

Deep, the sounds which cause the altos to fall over
In the large cathedrals of Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide and others
Latin verses, conductor curses, We wanna get down below your knees,
Altos get this feeling, they are dealing with their reeling, caused by this Bassy tease
So if we sing low, really slow, and flow, please say we made your tummy dip
We’ll turn you on before you know it, and you’ll quiver your top lip
So sing me yours, I’ll sing you mine, and we will harmonise in time
And eventually we’ll have it, just in time for our bit…

Sing it now
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
We like any kind of altos, any sizes and races
Really do
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
If they seem too highly strung we’ll maybe loosen their laces

Gunna rumble now…

Do it now
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
So we just don’t believe sopranos telling us we’re disgraces
And again now
You and me fellas ain’t nothin’ but basses
But if the sops are cute it might be beaut to get on their cases

Ad nauseum…