We went to Adelaide for IV. I was amazed.  Doug Mulray famously described Adelaide as “Yass, with pooftas”.  I didn’t see any especially Adelaidian pooftas (apart from the usual several friends of mine of all sorts of orientations and persuasions), but the hoons, rev-heads and car freaks of all sorts were notable.  What do you expect when the roads are all flat and straight to give everyone a really good run-up?

[January 2001]

Oh, the Sydney cops’ll sell you drugs, the Melbourne cops’ll shoot ya,
The Brisbane cops are focused on the bright caucasion future,
The Hobart cops just sit at home all clustered ’round the heater,
But every cop in Adelaide is a human parking meter!

Three cheers for Adelaide
It’s Colonel Light’s creation
You won’t catch cold and you can’t get lost
But you just might die of dehydration

The restaurants in Melbourne town are rated very high and
You can’t been Newtown, Sydney, if you want the taste of Thailand,
You won’t mind Canberra’s cafes if you like sundried tomato,
But all you need in Adelaide is a big dish of gelato.

(Chorus, with slurping noises)

The drivers down in Hobart drive like country bumpkin yokels,
The high-stress roads of Sydney would be best left to the locals,
And Brisbane’s just the place to see some high-speed front-seat mooning,
But Adelaide’s the mecca for a nation’s-worth of hooning!

(Chorus, with revving)